So you’re now single or with someone new. . .but you can’t get your ex out of your mind. Hmm, not a funny situation at all!

Though you’re with someone new yet your thoughts are always, “How can I get my ex to love me again. . .” Most times you’ve probably pushed the thought away because it seems impossible. Not really. The good news is that you can get your ex back in your arms. It has been done before, and not infrequently, and it can be done again, by you.

Men and women get out of relationships for different reasons, many of which are not understood by the opposite sex because men’s and women’s brains are wired differently. This makes things even more confusing. Some situations seem to be pretty straight-forward but most aren’t.

So before we tackle your goal of getting your ex back, let’s take a look at why he or she isn’t around in the first place.

Why do men leave relationships? It’s pretty simple, really. They leave when they aren’t getting what they need. And one sure thing that they need is admiration and respect. It might be for that reason that they they left . . .and maybe they found it somewhere else. One of the most common reasons men give for leaving their wife or girlfriend is “No matter what I did, I couldn’t make her happy!”

Why do women leave relationships? They leave because they feel unappreciated and/or they leave because they are bored. What do you commonly hear from unhappy women? “He doesn’t appreciate a thing I do!”

Now, you might think that your ex’s reasons for leaving don’t fit into one of those categories. You may be thinking, “my husband left me because I cheated on him.” But why did you cheat on him in the first place? It probably has something to do with the fact that you weren’t getting the attention and appreciation you needed. Or maybe you’re thinking. . .although that’s not an excuse. Or maybe you’re thinking “My girlfriend left me because I was never around.” But ask yourself, why were you never around?

Now that you’re not in continuous contact with your ex, you can take time to look at things more objectively. Use this time constructively to list all the positive and negative factors in your relationship. In the meantime, make sure you take care of yourself, eat healthy foods and exercise when possible.

Then, after you’ve had time to concentrate on yourself and look at your relationship with more objective eyes, you can think about making that first contact with your ex. Ask him or her out for coffee in a nonchalant manner. If he or she says yes, go out, talk about light non-threatening subjects and keep it short. At the end of the date, don’t re-schedule another unless your ex suggests it. So, in answer to your question “Can I get my ex to love me again?” Yes, you can!

The date may go well, the date may go ok or the date may go terribly. In the last case, you’ll need to re-evaluate your situation and see if you want to continue trying later on or if you need to think about moving on.

But if the date goes well, you will see how the answer to “Can I Get My Ex to Love Me Again?” is “Yes, I can!”

If you are facing the difficult task of healing relationship wounds you will need to be wiling to really invest some time and effort. You can fix your relationship but it won’t necessarily be quick and easy, and you won’t be able to do it all on your own.

There are many steps you will need to take to repair your broken relationship. A lot of what you will have to do will depend on what broke the relationship in the first place. It’s usually not just one or two things and it usually takes a long time and a buildup of many smaller issues that eventually tear down your relationship.

Finding the cause of the break down is the first thing you will need to do in order to come up with a ‘game plan’ to fix it. You wouldn’t expect your mechanic to fix your car without first knowing what was wrong with it, would you? The same principle applies to your relationship.

Not only will you need to figure out what went wrong you will need to honestly figure out what part you played in it. That can be very hard for most people. No one wants to admit they’ve been wrong or made mistakes. But you can’t fix it until you know what is broken, so you will have to honestly, maybe brutally honestly, evaluate the way you’ve behaved in the relationship and what things you’ve done, or said, that might have contributed to the break down.

And yes, what you have said can play just a big a role in a broken relationship as what you’ve done. Never forget that words can wound and those wounds are often the hardest ones to heal.

Once you’ve figured out the mistakes you’ve made you will need to determine if you’re wiling to invest the time needed to fix them. If you can’t make a 100% commitment to changing your behavior than you might as well end the relationship right now. There’s no point in dragging you and your partner through further pain.

Another thing you will need to honestly consider is whether or not your partner will be willing to work on the relationship too. No matter how sincere you are and motivated to make changes, it will take both of you working together to get things back to a good place. You can’t do it all alone, and neither can your partner. If you aren’t both committed to making it work, it’s also time to move on.

Something else you will need to consider is that if you save your relationship it will never totally be ‘back the way it used to be’. That doesn’t mean it can’t still be good, it can. It just means that whatever the two of you have gone through has left some scars, those will always be there.

Keep these things in mind when you are healing relationship wounds. If your relationship is truly worth saving, and your partner is willing to meet you half way and work on it, you can fix the relationship and even make it better than it was before, it’ll just take some time…and lot’s of love.